3 On a Match
An International Kabarett Ensemble
Simplicissimus-Kunstlerkneipe was the first Kabarett to offer ground rules for behaviour in an “authentic” spirit of self-sendup.
These rules characterize the mood of Munich’s Schwabing or “Schwabylon” as it came to be known in the pre Great War years. An
Anarchistic gaiety prevailed, a desire to shock the establishment out of its conventional conformity.
1. Come, if possible, late, so that the guests already there know that you do have something else to do.
2. Give your coat to the woman in the Cloakroom. You’re a friendly man and your coat is new.
3. Sit down haphazardly and noisily. Then change your seat often until you find one with the right shape.
4. Read the menu and wine list loudly and emphatically to your companion.
Learn it if possible off by heart, and then order a portion of ‘later’.
5. When everything concerning your material welfare has been looked after, take part - even if at first only unwillingly - in the artistic
presentation. Look upon the conferencier with contempt right from the start. He’s an ass and because of that, let him feel your spiritual
superiority.
=
6. Time your noisy interjections so that they erupt precisely where they don’t fit. This contributes enormously to enlivening the programme.
7. If you’re a woman, then criticize the dress of the performing artiste boldly and with wit. (Don’t forget your lorgnette as a prop for this.)
8. During song presentations, aim your cigarette smoke casually toward the podium. The singer will inhale it willingly. It makes his
voice soft and supple.
9. During acts, use your cutlery and glasses in an unbothered fashion. Their sound does one good and replaces the band.
10. When you have been bored long enough by the programme and have gotten angry over the bill, leave as noisily as you came in with the
consciousness of having spent a most enjoyable evening.
3 On A Match Kabarett © 2023
This is a great place to add a tagline.